Having taken a deep breath or two…

Ok, so I’m calmer now. Certainly calmer than I was yesterday. I had a very bad pain day yesterday, and PT was very hard, and  I could barely walk, and a little part of me snapped, resulting in that post.

This isn’t to say that all of what I wrote isn’t true. My outline of a ‘normal’ day was pretty spot-on. But, looking at my life a little bit more objectively today, it’s not the whole truth.

The whole truth involves the fact that, while I’m unable to sit at a computer for 8 hours a day, I am able to sit at one for 3-5 hours at a stretch, sometimes; and that’s a hell of an improvement since a year ago.

It includes that I am able to leave the house more days than not (even if it’s just to drive to a drive-through for a salad).

It means mentioning that I went to an actual party on Saturday, by myself, and had fun. (Even though I sat on the couch almost immediately after I arrived, and didn’t move until I got up to leave. Many thanks to Tim and Taylor for keeping me hydrated, and Huey for the cupcake.) That certainly would not have happened a year ago.

There are myriad little things that I didn’t include in yesterday’s rant. I’m not necessarily having to nap every single day. I almost never wake myself up in the night anymore, crying out in pain. I’ve signed up for a knit-along at my local yarn store, and am extremely hopeful that I’ll be able to participate regularly. I can sometimes manage to do my own laundry without having to take pain killers afterwards. I’ve discovered that I can actually sit on the ground, given sufficient impetus. More importantly, I can even get up, with a bit of help. I generally manage to make it to Northern Virginia once a week to see Jenn and Jim (a 45-mile one-way drive). I was able to survive a 7.5-hour road trip to Massachusetts to see leaf and Matt get married.

Little things that are coming back to me. Things that I couldn’t do in the very recent past. Things that are hopefully making way for even bigger, better things.

In truth, my life is improving, bit by bit. It’s a very slow progression, and there are definitely days when I backslide. Yesterday was one of those days. And, like most everything for the past couple of years, G, the cats, and you (you crazy collection of Internet and real life nuts) got me through it.